Jan 15

Re-wiring in Goa

I signed up for my Advanced Yoga Teacher Training program in India for perfectly logical “Western” reasons:

– Additional training could only help my teaching.
– The program sounded interesting
– Being “in retreat” would provide ideas and energy for hosting retreats
– A 500 hour certification will help in promoting Teacher Trainings (a not so subtle foreshadowing)
– The timing fit in my calendar
– The price fit in my budget
– I LOVE being in India
– Why not spend five winter weeks on the sunny beach in Goa?

Let’s go back to the program sounded interesting. The asana (physical movement aspect) style is, as I teach, a vinyasa flow. So, each new flow variation, creative sequence and adjustment technique is directly applicable to my teachings. But, the emphasis is NOT on the asana (just 2-3 hours a day). Cerebrally, I knew that. I also knew that the program was going to delve deeply into the subtle body with specific emphasis on the Chakras. What I did not know was that seemingly ALL of my weaknesses, aversions, demons, masks and past traumas were going to be called up, aired out and scrutinized.

There are only seven of us in the program. There is nowhere to hide. There are three teachers. There is nowhere to hide. I am the only male. There is nowhere to hide…

We chant. We sing. We dance. We open. There are rituals. There are tears. Let’s just say I am not in the sports bar anymore.

As painful as this might sound for any hot blooded Western male. I realized almost immediately (or at least as soon as the resistances faded), that I am exactly where I need to be.  Sure, it sounds airy-fairy and ungrounded. But it is incredibly grounding and well grounded in personal experience as well as practical science.

I recall asking Roberta (one of our teachers) to re-demonstrate a particular jerky/bouncy/thrusting motion at the beginning of a Kundalini meditation/exercise. As she did, I almost broke out laughing with the realization that I was even mildly hoping to move like a Brazilian woman in her 30s. So I gave up, gave in and twitched and shook like an American man in his late 40s. I am sure it wasn’t pretty, but it was perfect. I left the yoga shala (studio) that day on a peaceful cloud and hypnotic high.

Then there is the breathing. A person might live weeks without food and days without water but only minutes without breath. Why do food and drink get so much hype? Maybe breathing is under-promoted because there is no profit to be made there (yet). After a week of  active breathing 30-60 minutes a day, I am more than convinced my life has already been favorably altered. Yes, I will be bringing these practices back with me to share.

We are incredibly lucky to have both a small group and a caring, trusting one. We have known each other a week or less and we are already a family, a tribe. Our typical days start before the sun rises and conclude after the sun sets, with precious little free time in between (so please understand any lack of personal communication). Yet, even when we have free time, we choose to spend most of it together. We don’t have much alone time but our meditations, asana practices and pranayama (breathing) send us on deep interpersonal explorations. There is nowhere to hide.

Note: I am trying to figure out how to get pictures into future (and past) blog entries. So when you do start to see pictures, you might want to revisit past posts.